It's amazing that tomorrow Calvin turns 6 months old. Time has really flown by for us but as I sat on the couch today reflecting on his time with us and how much my love for him and Tayva has grown I got a little teary and thought it best to write a bit.
Before Cal was born I loved how we would lay on the bed and I would tell him made up stories and he'd cuddle up next to where my voice was coming from.
When Cal was born he came out dark purple, with squinty eyes and a long head. He looked like a mix between an ancient Egyptian, an African American, and a Chinese person--I didn't know what to think! As the minutes and hours went on he started looking a little more normal. I remember accompanying him to the nursery while Tayva got moved down to her room. When we got there they were worried about him and had to take some blood. When they put the needle in his vein I watched his little blood squirt on the table and then into the tube and my heart broke. He didn't have that much to begin with, how could they take more? I didn't know what was going on and I didn't know if I could handle it. I asked the nurse if my mother-in-law could come stay with him and I'd go to Tayva because I was more confident she'd handle it right but they wouldn't allow it so I stayed with Calvin in the nursery for many long, lonely hours and prayed for him.
A few days after we got home Tayva was sleeping and I got to hold Cal and we had our first scripture study together. I taught him all 6 missionary discussions...not sure how much he retained :)
Shortly after he was born I had to go back to full-time work and school and leave he and Tayva home. It breaks my heart that my family is at home growing and bonding together while I'm away from them, but I am so glad that Tayva can stay home.
Calvin's got the greatest sense of humor and timing: whenever anything gets a little too sentimental he seems to notice because he'll "pass gas" or throw up right then causing us to laugh.
I love Calvin's laugh and his smile. He just brightens up, especially when I make silly noises. Tayva always acts so excited when I walk in the door and Calvin started taking her cue because the moment I walk in the door a HUGE grin breaks across his face and she holds him and says "It's your Dada Calvin!" (thank you Tayva for making me feel loved by my little boy!). I love our ritual of laying him on our bed and Tayva and I will pretend to eat him and he giggles. I love how attached he is to his mama. He adores her with everything in his heart--she is his, and my, whole world. He doesn't get the concept of kissing so often he'll just open his mouth REAL wide and put whatever part of her face that is closest in his mouth--be it eye, chin, forehead, cheek, etc. When he gets tired he nuzzles up to her and whimpers. I love how inquisitive he is. Since he was born he's always studying things or trying to touch things (like trying to grab the stripes off the couch). I love how active he is, Calvin hates laying down. If he's awake he either has to be sitting or standing (and since about 3 weeks old his preferred method is standing). He is like his daddy in that he starts the morning as an adorable ball of energy which fades as the day goes on so that he's grumpy by the time we reach the afternoon...poor Tayva, she's got two boys like that.
As I sat on the couch today reading to them, Tayva was giving Calvin a bath in his blue tupperware tub. I watched them for a moment and was filled with awe, humility, gratitude and a lump in my throat. There was Calvin, trying to be independent and doing his best to stand up in the bath tub and there was Tayva sweetly holding him up, encouraging him, and rinsing him off and putting him into his dragon towel. She was so tender and gentle and loving. It was like the perfect painting and I wish I could've captured it.
I couldn't round this out without saying a bit about Tayva. One of the things that attracted me to her is that I knew she'd be a great mama--even then I was underestimating how good she'd be. Tayva is a miracle, a saint, my greatest treasure, and greatest friend all rolled into one fine looking lady :) . She's infinitely patient with me and with Calvin. She always seeks the comfort of others (as evidenced in active labor when between contractions she'd go around the room and ask everybody how they were holding up).
Tayva sacrifices so much for both Cal and I. Because I work so early I go to bed often before she does. She'll stay up with Cal just playing with him in the family room so I can get some sleep, some nights I lie in bed getting a little choked up thinking about her out there with him staying up so I can get rest although she's had the baby all day. I try to compensate by doing little things for her or grabbing something she needs or thinking up other little ways that I can sacrifice to show how grateful I am for her but she's always one step ahead.
Because I work so much and go to school so much Calvin and I aren't used to each other as much as he and Tayva are--couple that with the fact that I was never around kids growing up so this is new to me. But because Cal and I are new to each other sometimes I'm more successful taking him for a couple hours while she's at school or doing something and sometimes I'm not. When I first took him for a couple hours while she went to school he went berserk and I didn't know what to do. After that she made sure that if I was feeling out of my league she'd stay home from her class and spend time with us (coincidentally she failed that class this semester and I have lots of guilt but she's not blaming me). I can't express how much I love her and am grateful for all she does for our family. She always sets the bar so high by her example and I'm left in awe of her feeling completely undeserving of her as a spouse but I'm glad she chose me anyway.
I've got the perfect family and have been blessed infinitely more by the Lord than I suppose I deserve but I don't take it for granted. I am constantly so grateful for my little Cal-cal and my wonderful eternal companion.
Happy 6 months Cal and Happy Mother's Day Tayva!
Love Peter
